Way, way, way back in 2002, when my dogs were a mere twinkle in their eventual sires’ eyes, much as my own possible one-day child is a mere twinkle in mine, I bought myself a house. Being a college student, I sent out the word to capture myself a few roommates to help foot the mortgage bill. And it came to pass, within a month, I had garnered myself 3 roommates. We were all students at USU in Logan, Utah. And lo, the first semester of our shared-domicile-living was the fall semester. As I cannot remember the specifics I will spare you any exact date, but let it be known, BYU’s football team journeyed the 120 miles from Provo to Logan on a glorious Saturday, to square off against the humble team put forth by USU. I was generously invited to attend the battle by the one roommate who was also a long time friend of mine. I agreed to go and we were off. En route, I was told we would be meeting our other roommates, let’s call them generic names like, oh, say, Mike and Chris. My other roommate, let's call him Adam met up with Mike and Chris. When we arrived, it was already halftime. It was made known unto me that the contest was at least close, I think it was only 10-0 for BYU, or something. Following Mike and Chris's halftime act of scoping for ladies, the football warriors rushed out for the second half. BYU received the ball to begin and then ran their first play. The play earned them quite a large gain of about 20 yards. And through the power of the souls of all previous generations of USU Alumni, this is when my world was turned upside down. Mike and Chris cheered, LOUDLY, in appreciation of the effort put forth by the BYU soldiers. They continued to cheer for BYU as they scored, scored, and scored again. The game was a blowout. I can’t tell you the final score, but it was atrocious. I left the game with Adam, sullen, shocked, in total disbelief. How could USU students cheer for the opposing school, and even worse BYU???? And it came to pass, the next year and a half, living with Mike and Chris was nearly unbearable. Every Saturday for the rest of the fall my T.V., yes MY T.V., was tuned to every televised BYU game. The winter was no different, as every BYU basketball game was also transmitted into MY home, via MY T.V. Each contest was accompanied by Mike and Chris singing the BYU fight song, parading around the house in their BYU gear, the whole works. It was horrific. I began doubting myself. Was I inferior because I didn't attend BYU? Should I cut my hair short, put on long pants, shave my beard and transfer to BYU? Would they even accept me (my grades said yes)? Then I thought, wait, why aren’t Mike and Chris at BYU? What’s the deal with that? It was at this moment that it was made known unto me that I was not inferior. Lo, I was just fine. Alas, my heart did burn with the knowledge that BYU simply SUX.